Strange Bedfellows
by EmeraldMoonStar
Summary: A very sick Sasuke and very drunk Sakura make for a very interesting morning. Especially when they don't remember the night before. Rated T for a few suggestive sentences.


**Never watch your favorite episode of your favorite sitcom after watching Naruto. Characters will be transplanted and you will have the urge to write. Long story short, this is heavily based off of an episode of a sitcom. No way am I that clever.  
**

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke was not having a good day. He had defeated many powerful opponents, taken on several kage at once and lived to tell the tale despite being told many times that he wouldn't, and had figured out a fair amount of his Mangekyou Sharingan on his own. He (barely) lost to Naruto and Sakura's combined power in a battle to bring him home. In his defense, he knew Naruto would come packing, but Sakura? Since when could she wreck havoc from just one touch? One block instead of a dodge, and his radius and ulna shattered. Pretty difficult to execute seals after that. Still though, he wiped out two of the Akatsuki singlehanded before his Mangekyou Sharingan had even shown up. So why was Sasuke having such a bad day? The incredibly strong Uchiha Sasuke was once again defeated, by a cold.

"Sasuke-kun, I can't just pull the virus out of your cells, medical ninjutsu doesn't work that way!" Sakura had been trying to get him to go home and rest for most of the evening between training sessions. It was only when he sneezed so hard he lost his balance long enough for her to get his hands on him that he finally relented. Not trusting him to rest, Sakura had gone with him. "So, just take this medicine. It will make you drowsy, so go to bed, and you'll feel better in the morning." She passed him a small medicine cup filled with a dark green, thick looking liquid.

Sasuke eyed it distastefully before drinking it like a shot. He regretted doing so almost immediately, as throwing his head back increased the headache twofold and he groaned quietly. Sakura held his shoulders and gently led him towards his room. Once there, she put him to bed and sat on the edge near his feet, smiling softly at how relaxed he look when his eyes were closed and wondering idly why he had a king sized bed when no one but him ever slept in it. The fact that he let her nurse him and stay after he was in bed was clue enough of just how miserable he felt.

After making sure that Sasuke was far too groggy to try and get up, Sakura turned off the light and left as quietly as she could manage. She was supposed to go hang out with most of Konoha's kunoichi at Hinata's bachorlette party, which was all Ino's idea as Hinata was still pretty shy. Sakura didn't really want to go, feeling rather down about Sasuke's lack of openness towards her. In fact, he didn't treat her much differently than before he had left eight years ago. She knew he didn't hate her, and in retrospect, he probably never did. He either had a sense of duty that was one of the most noble she had ever seen, or he honestly did not want her to get injured. When he left, though, she was convinced that he hated her and was just quiet about it, like he was about everything else. Then again, he certainly didn't act as though he liked her very much either. If Naruto wasn't getting married, she'd swear there was something going on between the two.

Sakura sighed wistfully as she unlocked the door to her apartment. Seeing all of her friends coupled up could be hard at times. Though she'd never admit it to anyone, sometimes she did worry that she'd end up like her shishou in regards to her lack of a love life. It wasn't as if she hadn't gone on dates. She tried, but Naruto and Sasuke always scared them off, claiming she was either 'too good for him' or 'he was really weird' or even once 'he hated ramen.' As sweet as it was that the boys were so protective of her, it really made any attempt at having a love life difficult. She had actually tracked down the Iwa nin that she healed during the war and went out to lunch with him, but Sasuke had disliked him more than the others for whatever reason, and there was never a second outing.

There was no getting around it, she had to go to this party, look presentable, then grin and bear it. She threw on the formfitting, short, black dress with thin straps that Temari had sent her for her birthday, and a pair of simple black heels. She then put her now long strawberry milk colored hair into a half up-half down updo, and applied some black eyeliner and mascara to make her emerald eyes pop. She may not be feeling overly confident, but that doesn't mean she couldn't look amazing.

She didn't even have to bother checking the chakra signature at the door to know that it was Ino. She had barely opened it when the blonde was already yelling in excitement. "Forehead, come on! We don't want to be late and miss the dancers!" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively while Sakura just rolled her eyes at her friend's antics. "This will be so fun, I looked up a bunch of new mixed drinks that we have to try!"

* * *

Several hours later, Sakura was stumbling through the front door, clinging to the doorknob for dear life. "I don't know what they put in a pink squirrel, but I don't know how squirrels hold on to their nuts," she grumbled as she tottered into the hallway. Her heels clacked clumsy on the floor as she made what she thought was a beeline for the first door she saw. It was a miracle she hadn't twisted her ankle in her pathetic wobbling gait. Next thing she knew, she had a face full of bamboo and a broken vase on the floor. She glanced behind her, but nothing much registered about it, other than that it occurred. Giggling, she threw open the bedroom door and began to sing "Single Ladies" under her breath. She lifted her foot up to her hand to take her shoe off, but lost her bearings and crashed to the floor. This resulted in more giggling and she threw her shoes across the room for good measure. She shuffled to the closet to take her dress off, idly grumbling that she needed to add some different colors to the clothing collection before emerging back in the bedroom in a sheer dress slip. Without further ado, she crawled into bed and was out when her head hit the pillow.

"What the hell, teme?!" Sasuke awoke with a start and jerked to a sitting position in bed. Naruto was standing at his bedside looking absolutely horrified. Sasuke turned to face him and shot him a nasty glare. Still sleepy from the medicine, Sasuke uncharacteristically phrased the question, rather than just punching him, "Naruto, what are you doing in my room?"

Naruto looked at him like he had two heads before replying. "I came here to see if you wanted to train, since you left early yesterday, but it looks like you've already had plenty of physical activity this morning dattebayo!" He shot Sasuke a disgusted look.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Naruto pointed behind Sasuke. "What is _she_ doing here?"

"Who?" Sasuke looked over to where Naruto had pointed and saw the back of a head of pink hair. "Oh." A look of utter confusion crossed his face and he tentatively leaned over to move a strand of hair and turn the mysterious head towards him to see the face of this person. "Sakura!"

She rolled over and sat up blearily and made eye contact with Sasuke. Instead of being surprised or confused, she smiled slightly. "Oh, I'm having that dream again." She reached her hand out and jerked back in horror when it touched his face. She leapt out of bed, dragging a sheet with her to cover herself. "Sasuke-kun! What are you doing in," she looked around, "your room?" She looked more frantically now, plainly confused. Sasuke looked back and forth between his equally flabbergasted team mates.

"Would you get out of my room?" He glared pointedly at Naruto. The blond scowled but did as requested. Sakura made to follow him, but was stopped by two words, "_Not you_." Her containment was made more final when the click of the door was heard from Naruto closing it. Sasuke was now out of bed, standing next to Sakura giving her a look that demanded answers. However, Sakura was not a morning person, and therefore was not going to put up with him silently dominating the situation, so she said nothing. He caved and asked, "Sakura, how did you get in here anyway?"

She tugged the sheet around her a little tighter in a nervous motion. "I don't know, I guess I got a bit smashed at the bachorlette party, and since your house is closer, I guess I just walked here." She frowned suddenly. "What's your excuse?"

Fortunately for Sakura, Sasuke wasn't a morning person either and had less reign over his emotions and mouth. "Well, I did take a lot of cold medicine last night...I don't need a reason, it's my room!" He looked at her incredulously. "Smashed? What did you drink?"

"Look, I'm a grown woman, I can have a lousy pink drink if I want to," she fired back, now annoyed. "I'm going through a personal crisis!"

"Sakura, focus."

"Don't tell me to focus! You're the one who wants me to die alone so I can't ruin any future gene pools with my hair, so anyone your kids would want to marry could never produce a pink-haired Uchiha!" Her hand motions grew more frantic as she went on. Sasuke didn't even have a comeback and just settled for looking completely bewildered. "I've given you the best years of my life and this is what you do to me!"

It was Sasuke's turn to get annoyed, "But I haven't done anything to you!" His composure broke suddenly and he looked concerned. "Did I? Did we...? No, I think I'd remember."

"You bet you would."

"Sakura..."

She smirked. "Calm down, I can guarantee nothing happened because my ears don't itch. There." She proceeded to glance around, now more concerned about where her clothes were.

"What do your ears have to do with anything?" Sasuke looked desperate at this point, any assurance that nothing happened, he would take.

Sakura looked a bit bashful now. "Well, last night, once the girls had had a few drinks, they started talking about the morning after, you know, and they all said that their ears itch the next morning." Sasuke looked at her in disbelief. "What, as if guys don't have a thing?"

Sasuke refused to meet her gaze now. "The guys have mentioned...humming the next day." He examined his feet while he felt her gaze boring a hole into the side of his head.

"That's weird, I've never heard you-" Her eyes widened with horror right as Sasuke turned to look at her, having realized what she was insinuating. Without another word, she scampered out of his room as fast as her feet could carry her.

* * *

It had taken Sasuke beating the daylights out of Naruto to prevent him from shouting that Sakura was in bed with Sasuke last night from the top of Hokage tower. "Okay, okay, I won't tell anyone, teme. Sheesh." He plopped down to the ground unceremoniously, yanked some onigiri out of his pocket and began to munch on it. Sasuke soon followed suit. They ate in silence for a while, then Naruto suddenly got serious. "Hey, you look bothered. What's up?"

"Hn."

"Oh, come one. If you don't tell me, I'll use Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Justu and have them go door to door telling people about what happened this morning. And they'll start with Neji." Naruto grinned slyly, knowing he had won.

Sasuke, on the other hand, scowled, also knowing that there was no way he could stop every last one of those clones from keeping its mouth shut. "Sakura was yelling this morning."

"I heard that much."

Sasuke glared before continuing. "Something about her hair, gene pools, and me having children." Sasuke gave Naruto a questioning look but refused to ask his question.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Oh, that. Well, Sakura-chan knows you don't like pink, so she thinks that you aren't very close to her because you find her repulsive or something and don't want to even look at her. She's thought that for years now. " Naruto looked thoughtful. "That, and you call her annoying a lot, so she thinks you hate her personality too."

Sasuke just stared. "She thinks I don't like her because she has pink hair," he stated slowly.

Naruto nodded, "Well yeah! Think about it, if she ever got married and had kids and so did you, your kids could marry each other, and then there could be a pink haired Uchiha." He suddenly started laughing. "But if you get a grandson with pink hair, that'd be hilarious!"

Sasuke chose not to comment and stood up after eating the last bite of his lunch. He shoved his hands in his pockets and leisurely walked away. "Teme, where are you going, dattebayo?"

* * *

"I don't mind pink."

"What?"

"And you're not always annoying."

Sakura merely stared. She had just finished treating a patient of a minor burn to find Sasuke leaning casually against the wall opposite of the room she had just exited. He had then approached her and proceeded to tell her this before she could really even question his presence. "Well, um, Sasuke-kun, I do have other patients to see, so I'll see you later?" As much as she hated to leave, Shizune would not be pleased if she let her social life come before the actual lives of other people.

"Ah." Sasuke once again put his hands in his pockets and started walking back down the hall. Sakura walked in the other direction and reached up to scratch her ear. She froze when she heard quiet humming drifting towards her from down the hall. Sasuke turned to look at her right as she turned around.

They immediate broke eye contact and kept walking.

* * *

**And the world will never know. Kudos to who can tell me what my favorite show is. Could you guys please review? I'm in a review funk and it makes me lose all motivation to post when I barely get any reviews.**


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